Death Has Died

In December 2012, I went to go pick up my little brother, Luis, from El Paso to come to live with me in Dallas. Our first night in Dallas together, we both shared a twin size bed. As we were going to sleep, I vividly remember Luis asking me, “Why do people have to die? Why is there so much trouble in the world?” As he asked that, I was stunned to get his questions, but I now realized all the trouble he had seen in his youth. I took a few seconds to ponder his question. I answered him, “All of these things do happen, but if you believe in God, He promises that one day He will put an end to all of it. There will be no more death or suffering.”

This is what we all hope for. For those of us who have lost a loved one, pain, sorrow, grieve, and tears fill the heart. As I get older, I realize that death is inevitable. Sometimes, we feel invincible in our youth, but for most of us, we don’t know if we will live to see tomorrow. I don’t think many of us are trained to cope with a grievous loss. I know I’m not.

This past couple of months have been difficult for my family. While I was at work one day in June, I had a few missed calls from my mom. I thought it strange because my mom rarely calls me without giving me advance notice. All I could think about is, “this must be bad news.” I was afraid to call back. When I did call her back, my mom broke the news to me that my cousin, Mayra, who was nine months pregnant was shot three times and killed by her husband. I managed to maintain a straight face at work. On my way home, I called my mom and my uncle Manuel. I really had no words to comfort him, but I prayed for him. Little did I know, that would be the last time I would speak to him.

On August 12, 2020, my mom called me and told me that my uncle Manuel was shot to death. My mom asked me to call my sister, Alma, to tell her the news, so I did. Having to call a family member to let them know that another family member was shot to death is the worst phone call anyone can ever make. I didn’t know how to handle the news, and I still don’t know how to psychologically cope with it. My family is grieving.

I’m not sure if you have ever watched wrestling, and when one of the wrestlers runs towards the other and gets his body swang, my uncle used to do that to me when I was little. I enjoyed it, and he was happy to do it. When I saw him again in Juarez in 2017, he reminded me of that. I remember he came to visit our family in Dallas a few times. He looked like an exact replica of my grandpa. My mom loved him and constantly looked out for him. I wish I could have done more for him myself. I miss my uncle. I cried when I got the news.

I know death is inevitable, and we will die one day. However, the way a person dies is what makes the situation more difficult. I hope I never have to make another phone call like that again. I love you Tio. Lo voy estrañar…

Revelation 21:4